


I'd find my way home

by AbAbsurdo



Series: Short unconnected one shots [1]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Affection, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25635193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AbAbsurdo/pseuds/AbAbsurdo
Summary: Richard just wants to ogle Thomas in cricket whites.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Richard Ellis
Series: Short unconnected one shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1858300
Comments: 15
Kudos: 89





	I'd find my way home

1928, September

Richard does not really like cricket. He is not sure why really; it’s a popular game. He’s more into boxing himself, when it comes to sports. Still even boxing is a thing of the past, mostly in his younger days. He’s pushing forty now, and bruises take longer to heal. But cricket?

So, what is he doing here waiting for the annual cricket match in Downton? 

  
When Mr. Bates invited him, it didn’t take him long to accept. It’s been a year since he met Thomas Barrow and the second time he finds the chance to come visit him in his place, royal visit not counting. 

  
He can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty for using his parents as an excuse when he’s only visited them for an hour before setting up for Downton. 

Well, he only has a day and a half, and Thomas is playing cricket. Plus, he’s not certain how he’s going to be greeted by the man himself. The last time they’ve met they had a quarrel, Richard doesn’t even remember what it was about. Yes, their predicament is not the best, their future not as bright as if one of them had been female. But Richard is happy for having found Thomas, and Thomas is aching due to past experiences he hasn’t shared with Richard yet. 

Ever since though, Thomas is colder than usual. Richard is always the first to call, the first to send a letter or a card. He knows he’s made a mistake and he’s here to solve it. 

And ogle Thomas in cricket whites.   
Only issue in the grand scheme of things is Thomas doesn’t know Richard is coming for a visit so he just wishes he’s not going to deck him for coming uninvited. 

After all he’s not uninvite; i t’s all a surprise from the Downton Abbey stuff. A late birthday gift for Thomas, Mr. Bates wrote in his letter. Richard smirks to himself thinking people see him as a gift for Thomas. He shouldn’t be shocked really, but as much as they pretend he’s their Butler’s friend, the fact they all know and approve is heartwarming. 

Thomas has said that was not always the case.   
But that’s how things are now. 

  
“Mr. Ellis, hello. Welcome.”

“Hello, Ms. Baxter. How are you?” 

“Very well, thank you. And you?” Thomas always speaks highly of Phyllis. And they have met once in London too, Ms. Baxter, Mr. and Mrs. Bates, Thomas, and himself had found time to go for a pint in a pub. 

“Let’s go find our team. Mr. Barrow will be happy to see you.”

Richard wants to surprise Thomas after the game. Watching him play in all his glory will be Richard’s gift as he’s not certain if Thomas will appreciate his colleagues’ thoughtfulness. He gestures, reaching over to her. “No. Let’s not say anything to him until after the game. 

Yes, the game doesn’t hold his attention at all. If you’ve watched one, you have watched all of them. He’s not going to share his opinion with Thomas though, in case he actually likes cricket instead of just satisfying Lord Grantham’s weird fixation on the game. 

But oh boy! If Thomas isn’t a sight for his aching eyes. White collared shirt and woolen vest, leaving his neck open and in contrast to his dark hair. Cheeks painted rose by the exertion and the sun. He’s beautiful, Richard cannot find any other word to describe him. He quickly glances at the other men, and no one comes even close to Thomas. That’s what being in love means, he thinks with a smile as his gaze returns to Thomas and his eyes locks on his. 

Oops!

Now, he’s been seen. He raises his hand and waves at Thomas, who mimics it, with a shocked expression that lasts only a few moments. Thomas puts on his cricket cap and gets in position adopting a batting stance; a slight crouch with the feet pointing across the front of the wicket, looking in the direction of the bowler, and holding the bat so it passes over the feet and so its tip can rest on the ground near to the toes of the back foot.

Richard has no idea what he’s doing, but he knows he looks majestic while he’s doing it. He makes a deft stroke by blocking the ball but directing it away from fielders before takes for a run, and Richard loses the slight interest he had for the game to watch Thomas running and he and Mr. Branson touch the ground behind the popping crease, Mr. Branson with his bat, Thomas with his side. 

Mr. Branson grabs Thomas by the hand and helps him stand while Thomas cleans his trousers from the dust. Richard wonders if he could learn to play cricket just to play with Thomas next year. 

He’s not alone and Thomas’ friends want to engage him in conversations he’s not interested in. Time passes quickly and lemonades are served when Thomas finds him. He clears his throat behind him, and Richard turns around and yes, he’s so beautiful Richard feels his stomach clenching, butterflies running inside it like madmen. 

“Mr. Ellis.” Thomas’ voice is like a healing balm. The way it wraps around vowels and consonants making Richard’s name sound beautiful. He has taken off the hat and his long hair fall all over his temple. Richard watches Thomas’ Adam’s apple as he swallows down the cold lemonade.

He hides his reaction by bringing his own glass to his mouth. “Mr. Barrow,” he says, after taking a swallow of his own sour sweet refreshment. “Excellent game.”

“We lost,” Thomas says with a smirk.

Did they? “It was still a good game.”

“You have no idea, do you?” Thomas leans over him to leave his glass on a nearby table.

“No, not really. But I enjoyed watching you,” he whispers for Thomas’ ear alone. 

“What brings you to us? Are your parents alright?” Thomas takes another glass from the table and a scone. 

“Actually, they are just fine, that’s where I came from. But, no. I had an invitation to the game.”

“When do you have to return to London?”

“My train leaves tomorrow at noon.”

“Then, we have time to talk.”

“Have you made any plans where to stay at night?”

“Mrs. Hughes has had a room prepared for me.”

“They are all scheming these days,” Thomas says quietly. By then Mr. Bates and Mr. Moleseley have found them and they and Andy are called for tea and sandwiches. 

  
It’s hours later he finds himself alone with Thomas in his office.

  
“You know,” Thomas says, a cup of tea in his hands, “I didn’t use to get so easily tired.” He tried to stifle a yawn.

Unfortunately, he has turned into a dark suit by now and Richard finds himself missing the cricket whites on this other man. They all had the rest of the day off. “I enjoyed watching you. You looked dashing.” Thomas’ colouring makes his blushing more pronounced and Richard is happy every time he puts it there himself. “Are you still angry with me?”

Startled eyes stare at him confused. “Angry? I’m not angry at you. Why should I be angry?”

Richard wonders for a moment if he had it all wrong. “We had a fight last time we met, and you have never once called me since.”

“Is that what we had? I thought it was a disagreement about the status of our relationship.

“Thomas…”

Thomas stand suddenly and walks around his desk. He takes Richard’s hand and pulls him up. “Come. I don’t want to have this discussion here. We can go either outside and have a walk or go to my room.”

Richard squeezes his hand. “Your room.” 

Richard follows Thomas quietly in the empty corridors. Thomas holds the door open for him and he locks it behind him. Richard wraps his arms around his waist and rests his head on the other man’s shoulder breathing his scent in. “You washed. I can smell the soap.”

Thomas turns around in his arms and returns the embrace. “I don’t like feeling the sweat and the dirt on my skin,” he murmurs against Richard’s neck, hot breath on his skin. Richard runs his hand up and down on Thomas’ back, feeling the stiffness of the muscles. “Let me,” he says and brings his hand in the front to help him remove his jacket, collar and tie. He opens a second button and leads Thomas to the bed. He takes a seat on the armchair next to his bed. “I always wanted to tell you that I expected a Butler to have a better room.”

  
Thomas has turned around and tries to find something in the drawer of his bedside table. Richard watches the long, twisted body carefully. He comes around holding a little vase with a thick substance inside. He sits carefully, back against the pillows, and unscrews the lid. His right hand goes to his left and he’s stopped by Richard’s hand on top of his cupping it gently. “Let me?” he asks hesitantly. 

Thomas nods, takes a deep breath, and leans back on the pillow, his head rests against the wall, and closes his eyes. There are dark circles beneath his eyes, Richard observes as he unbuttons and removes the leather glove. The war wound appears marring the soft skin. 

  
“These are the last warm days for this year. My hand aches when the weather’s about to change. I always thought it was wives’ tales, but here you have it,” he says with a condescending smile. Richard takes some of the ointment with his fingers and rubs it along Thomas’ old wound. Holding the hand gently with one hand lets his fingers linger on the palm, caressing it lovingly.

The palm slowly loses its stiffness. Richard leans down and his lips follow the path his fingers followed a few moments earlier. He kisses it slowly, taking in the pleasant smell of the ointment. 

“I want to be able to love you without fear,” Thomas interrupts the silence. “I want to hug you in public, go for fishing and hold your hand. Wear intentical rings and live together. I want us to be free to love each other.” 

Richard kisses the tears away, his own eyes stinging. 

“I wasn’t angry at you. I was disappointed I can’t love you the way I want to.”

Richard pulls him against him and settles both of them down on the bed. “You love me the way I want to.”

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a drabble of Richard watching Thomas play cricket.  
> Everything about cricket is taken by Wikipedia. My deepest apologies.
> 
> While I was wondering what sport to choose for Richard to like boxing was the first that came to mind (incorrectly thinking about Sherlock Holmes. But [Infinity2020](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Infinity2020) reminded me of [waistcoat35](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waistcoat35)'s stories and OF COURSE Richard boxing is her own brainchild.


End file.
